Tag Archives: marriage equality

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/3/11

We had success this morning with our daughter preparing her own breakfast! Putting everything at her level and leaving a cup of milk on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator worked for her. She came running into our bedroom this morning yelling, “I did it, I did it! I made my own breakfast!” What a great accomplishment for her. Now, if we can only get her to be quiet and not wake anyone up, we will be set. Dora can keep her entertained for 30 minutes…she already has the remote control mastered. I guess this also means I am going to have to share my cereal. It’s time to start buying healthy and organic for her. Goodbye marshmallows and sugar. Fruity Pebbles…BE GONE!

Our radical gay family agenda today consists of cleaning house, mowing grass, doing laundry, and preparing for a cookout with some of our favorite families. Can you believe all the families that are coming over today are heterosexual? It’s true! We can even speak their language. They will be coming over to visit after church. These wonderful friends and their children are on to our radical gay family agenda and are not the least bit worried. For some reason, they seem to be immune to our magical powers of family destruction. After all these years of knowing us and spending time with us, they are still happy family units. Their children aren’t even affected by our sinister presence. They are all well-adjusted, open-minded, accepting, empathetic, loving kids thanks to their wonderful parents. Our kids are going to be the ones to change the world for the better. Gay agenda or not, they are going to be our shepherds of diversity and acceptance. I like to think that being a part of the community and open about our family dynamic is the reason these wonderful people came into our lives. Either that or they have a radical heterosexual agenda we are oblivious to. I guess turn about could be fair play. Oh please don’t let me catch the straight bug!

We have a radical poolside dinner planned with our friends. We are grilling burgers, peaches, pineapple, and watermelon and serving pasta salad, fruit salad, and chips. We even have a birthday cake for our daughter to top off the celebration.

We look forward to a relaxing afternoon of kids playing and swimming, a few adult beverages and conversation with great friends, and a little plotting of our radical gay agenda to destroy a marriage or two in Wyoming. Happy Fourth Of July Eve!

For a little inspiration for the Fourth of July, please take time to read this article. I am very honored by the sacrifice Andrew Wilfahrt made for our country and am even more proud of the legacy his parents continue in his honor.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/07/02/gay.soldier.andrew.wilfahrt/index.html

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/2/11

This morning started off with a bang! No, there were no fireworks in our home. Our daughter awoke before we did and decided to prepare her own breakfast. I heard a loud bang and an “Uh oh”, so I jumped from bed and ran to the kitchen. I walked in to my daughter standing over a cardboard box with milk puddled up in the floor and dripping from the counter and cabinets. GOT MILK? She had taken her bathroom stool into the kitchen, climbed up on the counter and got a bowl from the cabinet. She then slid her stool to the pantry and pulled down a box of daddy’s Fruit Loops with Marshmallows and took it to the kitchen. After standing on her stool to get her soy milk from the refrigerator, she pulled a cardboard box from the guest room and sat her bowl on it. While trying to pour her milk into the bowl, the carton slipped from her hand and drenched our kitchen. She stood over the mess with big puppy-dog eyes, looked up at me and replied, “I was hungry and wanted to fix some cereal. I was trying to be a big girl.” I cleaned up her mess, prepared her bowl of cereal, seated her at the table and praised her for almost doing it all by herself. What do you do? You can’t be mad at that cuteness. I think we are going to put some things on lower shelves and have small cups of milk in the refrigerator for her to pour on her own. Little Miss Independent is too impatient to wait.

We attended a birthday party this morning at a fun miniature golf place. We had a great time watching the little ones try to hold the putters and get their golf balls into the holes. Our daughter did pretty well considering she thought she was playing pool. I know our radical gay family agenda surely rubbed off on some of the families there. There was one family in particular that started that pre-divorce twitch as they passed us a slice of birthday cake. I just know the entire fabric of their being was forsaken by our attendance. Our daughter even had braided pig-tails and sandals that matched her outfit today. The GAY was overtly present from the moment we walked up the fake volcano face and into the tiki hut party room.

After the party, we fought the Fourth of July beach traffic to do a little shopping for birthday gifts for my daughter. We are throwing her an impromptu birthday party/Fourth of July cookout tomorrow. We are celebrating early since we will be out of the country for her actual birthday. We are taking her on a trip to Italy, Greece and Turkey in a few days. How completely radical and gay! We want her to learn about different cultures and experience the world beyond our daily American gay agenda. I can’t wait to learn how the Venetians handle their radical gay agendas. I hope we learn new sinister ways to complete our goal of world domination. We do need to inform the gondoliers that horizontal stripes are never a good idea.

We stopped by The Fresh Market and have another fabulous prepared dinner for tonight. We are enjoying all the time we are saving by shopping there. Our dinner conversation tonight is sure to be very evil.

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/30/11

Breakfast was made, lunch was packed, my daughter was dressed and hauled off to school, the second load of laundry is in the washer, my dentist appointment was made, and now I am trying to do some work. The first part of my radical gay family agenda has been met this morning. The remainder of the day consists of meeting with my lawyer to discuss the best methods for protecting my family since our marriage is not recognized. We will also discuss methods for getting my first book copyrighted and trademarked while we enjoy a nice Southern lunch. I am hoping my lawyer will have some legal advice to prepare me for all the lawsuits I am sure to receive from the divorce decrees that I have caused. Our radical gay family agenda is sure to cause some legal drama comparable to the O.J. Simpson trial. I wonder if Robert Shapiro is still available.

Jeff is working hard and trying to stay cool in Texas and Gregory is keeping the ER department in order today. It is so quiet in the house right now. I think I will allow my daughter to stay in after-school care today so I can enjoy some extra silence. Before you start to think I am being selfish, just know it is to give me extra time to wash and fold more clothes and to clean up the house a bit. I may even take some time to give myself a much-needed manicure. I know there are no other parents out there that put off personal care to take care of their children. This is surely a radical sacrifice.

I am considering a stop by The Fresh Market again today to pick up something yummy for dinner. I can already see that their convenience will destroy my time in front of the stove. I look forward to the extra time I get to plot and plan. There will be so many more marriage failures because of my shopping convenience with The Fresh Market. Who knew how powerful their presence would end up being?

 

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/29/11

The highlight of our radical gay family agenda for the day is the grand opening of The Fresh Market in Pawleys Island. We have been waiting for months to have an opportunity to buy their roasted chicken salad and fresh-baked goods. It must be extremely radical to get so excited about a new grocery store opening in our community. Are there other parents out there that enjoy the simple pleasures of shopping options? It is nice to have a new place that is void of Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles with marshmallows. I foresee healthy meals and snacks in our near future. I hope my daughter will forgive me.

Jeff left to work out-of-town this morning and Gregory left early to work at the hospital. I was left to prepare breakfast, get my daughter dressed and take her to school. She has water day at school today so I had to put together her swimsuit, towel and water shoes in addition to packing her PB&J lunch. She decided to sleep late this morning, so we were in a hurry to get out the door in time. We made it!

I am getting some work done this morning before meeting Gregory at work with food for the ER department. We decided to treat them to lunch today. I will be in a race to get back home, complete a little more work, and rush to carpool. I have to be in line early today to pick my daughter up from school in order to make it to a dentist’s appointment. She gets her teeth cleaned today as well as a check up. I have been so proud of her for having wonderful check ups every six months. No cavities! We have to keep it that way. The addition of The Fresh Market should help. It must be part of our militant radical gay agenda that keeps her pearly whites in check. Thank goodness she does not mind our strict regimen of brushing her teeth every morning and every night. It is amazing how her little Dora electric toothbrush and flavored toothpaste makes it fun for her. Too radical!

I picked up some roasted chicken breasts for dinner tonight. The luxury of not cooking tonight is making me very happy. I will have extra time to devise future plans to destroy marriages in Wyoming with the time I save. I may even have time to work on the destruction of marriage in Kansas.

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/28/11

Let’s talk about cereal this morning. When did they start coming out with so many varieties? And, when did all the varieties include marshmallows? When I was younger the choices were Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, and Rice Krispies. If you wanted something sweeter, you could choose Frosted Flakes. Now we have Fruit Loops with marshmallows, Chocolate Rice Krispies with marshmallows, Chocolate Lucky Charms with marshmallows, Fruity Pebbles with marshmallows and a hundred other sweet options. It is crazy but I am so glad I have these to choose from. Fruit Loops with marshmallows is my favorite! My daughter still gets oatmeal but we let her have a handful of sweet, dry cereal in the morning after breakfast if she is still hungry. I swear all the rainbow colors are part of the Radical Gay Agenda to infiltrate the lives of children silently. Think about it, everything is “fruity”, “sweet”, and “full of sugar”! Your cereal is chock full of GAY!

The princess is off at school camp for the day. They are learning all about the rain forest this week. We get to go to the school at the end of the week and listen to all the sounds and songs they are learning. I can’t wait to see my little safari leader belt out some fun songs Friday. Does anyone know where I can find a small safari hat and hiking boots in size 11 before Friday? She HAS to look the part! Should I add her Dora backpack and a map?

On my radical gay family agenda today is several loads of laundry, framing a family photo, changing sheets, making beds, picking out clothes for my daughter to wear tomorrow, carpool, and cooking dinner. At some point during the day I have to do some work and call my mom to say hello. There are so many radical gay things going on at one time today I can hardly keep up.

Tonight we will discuss the downfall of America due to our radical bond. I wonder if all those people effected by us will ever forgive us for living OUR lives the way THEY do?

Radical gay Family Agenda 6/26/11

Today is my birthday. My radical gay family agenda consists of floating in the pool with my family and eating cake all day long. Screw the diet! I have already received 39 kisses from my sweet daughter and a wonderful rendition of The Happy Birthday song. My birthday wish is for TOTAL gay world domination and the complete destruction of the sanctity of marriage. Get to work on my wish, folks, I’m taking the day off!

We need FULL marriage equality in the U.S.

FULL Marriage Equality