Radical Gay Family Agenda 10/26/2011

I’m sorry I have been absent from the blog for so long. Our radical gay family agenda has had me hopping. Kindergarten is in full force for our daughter and ballet, tap, jazz, tumbling, and musical theater classes have consumed all our free time. The daddies are so proud of our little “Broadway prodigy”. PB&Js are still being slapped together each morning and our path to the destruction of marriage is forging onward. See our recent story that made national headlines yesterday:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45020021/#.TqguB78vFe4

Have a happy Halloween. I hope all your little goblins spread our gay agenda from door to door this weekend!

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Radical Gay Family Agenda 8/19/11

Well, life as a radical gay family is not always sparkles and rainbows. Our daughter decided to have a major meltdown last night. She had it in her little head that her dad would be tucking her in to bed even after I (daddy) was in her room with a book in hand. A temper tantrum ensued that would give Naomi Campbell a run for her money. Thank goodness she is too young to have a cell phone to throw! We decided that we have been spoiling her a little too much and have to reign in the demon child before she turns into a spoiled brat. After a battle of wills last night, she finally left Time Out after an hour of kicking and screaming and trotted off to bed…ALONE. She did not get her way and did not get tucked in at all. I guess tough love is also a part of our radical gay family agenda.

The morning started very quietly as our daughter sat with no TV or toys and had to eat her oatmeal in silence. She got dressed for school, made her bed, apologized for her actions and quietly left for school. I went to Homo Depot, bought 10 medium cardboard boxes and returned home to pack all her toys and special stuffed animals. We have decided to take everything away from her and make her understand that she has to earn those things by minding, being polite and respectful, and behaving. It may take her a while to earn everything back one item at a time. The good news, we do not have to spend much money for Christmas this year. By the time she gets to the end of 10 boxes of Barbie, Dora, Toy Story, and Disney stuff, she will think it is all new.

Things are definitely much more different from the way they were when I was young. My mother would have back-handed me through a wall for acting the way my daughter did last night. We are trying to take the approach of mutual respect and talking through issues instead of spanking and yelling. We choose to use Time Out and restrictions. Our radical gay family agenda may have to start including a military boarding school if she does not get it in line! I wonder if military boarding schools go by the ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Us If Your Daddies Are Gay’ rule. If so, we would just pretend to be straight.

We are back on a diet, so I will cook a light meal for dinner and replace dessert with a firm and strict discussion about destroying some marriages in Ohio.

 

I saw this article today and felt it was important for people to read. We are asked these questions all the time and are often offended:

http://www.advocate.com/Society/Modern_Families/Say_What_5_Bad_Questions_for_Gay_Parents/

 

Radical Gay Family Agenda 8/17/11

I’m still here! I have been busy destroying the sanctity of marriage. Read for yourself:

http://www.advocate.com/Politics/Election/Marriage_Metaphors_with_Rick_Santorum/

I would love for Mr. Santorum to sit down for dinner with my family so he can see just how “radical” we are. My daughter would surely share her PB&J and a carrot chip while laughing about his funny hair and silly metaphors. He would probably be annoyed by interruptions of the washer and dryer chime letting me know it’s time to wash and fold another load. He would also have to witness a family conversation about my daughter’s first day of school or how her friend took the pink crayon she was using to draw flowers around the sketch of her daddies and our home. Our dinner may even have to pause while we patch a boo boo for my daughter with a Dora Band-Aid. We may even have to deal with a meltdown if we forget to trim the brown edges off my daughter’s sandwich or cut the sandwich into squares instead of triangles. You have an open invitation, Mr. Santorum. Come sit at our table and judge for yourself what a real family is made of. You just might come up with some new metaphors like “LOVE makes a family” or “Moral agents are Nurturing parents”.

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/28/11

We’re back! We had an amazing vacation in Europe. Our radical gay family agenda was extremely full over the last two weeks. There is no way to know exactly how many people we infected with our gay agenda but I’m sure it is in the tens of thousands. We spent most of our time enjoying the sights and cultures of some beautiful locations. Our daughter was such a trooper. She walked everywhere we did and never missed a beat. We are all on a diet to try to rid the weight we gained from eating every 30 minutes while on our trip. The term “fat and happy” has never been more true. It was tough waddling through the ancient cities visited. At least we were able to get a nice tan. My mom always said, “tan fat is prettier than white fat.”

Eight years ago, Jeff and I were in Venice during a vacation. As we sat in St. Mark’s Square, we watched a little girl in a beautiful white dress dance to the live orchestra. She alternated her dancing with running to her parents and taking a bite of gelato. During that time, we were desperate to have a child. We were very emotional watching this beautiful little girl and wishing we could be blessed with an opportunity to experience being parents. Our journey back to Venice with our daughter had a very special meaning. We dressed her in a white dress, took her to St. Mark’s Square, and reveled in her impromptu dance to the live orchestra. The moment was complete with some delicious gelato and a finale of church bells. Life has come full circle for us and is perfect. Seeing her dance in the square made our trip perfect. How radical?

Our radical gay family agenda is back to the usual routine today. Our daughter is off to school camp, PB&J in tow and swimsuit packed for water day. We are trying to catch up on work while washing a mountain of clothing and trying to fit in time to mow and clean house. Our agenda would not be complete without time to plan for future destruction of heterosexual marriages in Pennsylvania. We will be in Philly this weekend to make sure our mission comes to fruition. As I try to regain my sleep schedule from jet-lag, I will work on getting my blog entries back on track. I know how important it is to make sure the world is warned of our lurking destruction of the sanctity of marriage with all the laundry and PB&J sandwiches. Which reminds me, we are our of Jif and Smuckers.

Jennifer Chrisler on Lawrence O’Donnell

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=626wvUV3osE&feature=share

I am very proud to be a part of Family Equality Council and a friend of Jennifer Chrisler. She is one of the best leaders of our Radical Gay Family Agenda.