Tag Archives: daddies

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/11/11

In order for people to make educated conclusions, they must be exposed to all sides of the equation. It is important that people separate fact from opinion. People can make up opinions but they can not make up facts.

Here are a ten facts that people CAN NOT change no matter how hard they try:

FACTS

1 – I am a father.

2 – I have a daughter.

3 – I am legally married to Jeff in the state of California. (Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary by the way.)

4 – Jeff and I have been in a committed relationship since 1996.

5 – I am human.

6 – My daughter is loved.

7 – My daughter is healthy.

8 – I have a family.

9 – I was born gay.

10 – I pay taxes.

Here are ten opinions (delusions) of people that CAN be changed:

OPINIONS

1 – Marriage is solely for procreation.

2 – People choose to be gay.

3 – God Hates Fags.

4 – The Bible says it is wrong to be gay.

5 – LGBT people can not raise healthy children.

6 – Marriage equality will destroy the sanctity of marriage.

7 – Marriage equality will destroy society.

8 – Men are not capable of taking care of a baby.

9 – Children need a mother and a father.

10 – There is a radical gay agenda.

Today I challenge people to separate their opinions from fact. I am still looking for proof that my family has caused harm to anyone in the world by living our lives. I am proud of our radical gay family agenda and am very proud of my family.

Now, on a more serious note….

We are getting ready to leave for our European family vacation. My daughter keeps telling everyone we are going to Italy, Grease, and Chicken even though we are actually going to Italy, Greece, and Turkey. I love her interpretation of reality. We hope to spread our radical gay agenda far and wide as we set sail to explore foreign lands. Keep us in your thoughts as you watch the increase of the international divorce rate. We know our radical gay family agenda of exploring ancient cities, riding donkeys, splashing in the pool on deck 12, enjoying native foods, learning different cultures, and spending time together will be the cause of foreign family destruction. When you see the fighting in Greece, know we are probably the cause.

I look forward to updating everyone on our progress but will be sparse in my blog posts over the next couple weeks. Everyone stay radical!

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/6/11

Our radical gay family agenda was just uncovered at the CVS! While at the check-out counter, my daughter was begging for some candy and kissing my arm. The clerk behind the counter said, “You love your dad, don’t you?” My daughter replied, “Yes, but HE is at work. THIS is my daddy. I also have 2 grandpas and 2 grandmas. My grandma Myrtle and grandpa Tom live in my heart.” The clerk seemed very confused. I said, “she does not have a mom, she has 2 dads. Her grandparents on her dad’s side have passed away.” I paid the bill and we left. I think my daughter knew a little bit about what transpired since she looked up at me and exclaimed, “That was fun!” She did not get the candy she was begging for but I appreciated the love and kisses. We just had a perfect report from her dental check up, we can’t afford to start the trail to cavities now.

We met Jeff for lunch, bought a new trashcan for the kitchen, loaded up on allergy medicines and Dora Band-Aids for our trip abroad, and are now ready to spend an hour or so in the pool. My daughter is out of school camp this week. I am doing everything within my power to keep her entertained and exhausted since she seems to be returning the favor. I am looking forward to getting away for a couple of weeks with two matriarchs to keep the little princess entertained. I know she will end up spoiled beyond repair but Jeff, Gregory, and I look forward to our little breaks at night on the cruise. Adult beverages and conversation are in desperate demand.

I think a Fresh Market visit is in order this afternoon for dinner. I am loving their roasted chicken and pasta salads. We have to save time to discuss what type of retaliation we may have to endure from unleashing our radical gay agenda on the CVS clerk today. Thank goodness I did not have a CVS card or they might be able to track us down and send out an ex-gay group to try to convert us. I don’t trust all those VIP cards. Who has enough key-chain space to hold all those little plastic things anyway? I think all those cards are part of the heterosexual agenda. If WE have an agenda then THEY must have one too!

Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/2/11

This morning started off with a bang! No, there were no fireworks in our home. Our daughter awoke before we did and decided to prepare her own breakfast. I heard a loud bang and an “Uh oh”, so I jumped from bed and ran to the kitchen. I walked in to my daughter standing over a cardboard box with milk puddled up in the floor and dripping from the counter and cabinets. GOT MILK? She had taken her bathroom stool into the kitchen, climbed up on the counter and got a bowl from the cabinet. She then slid her stool to the pantry and pulled down a box of daddy’s Fruit Loops with Marshmallows and took it to the kitchen. After standing on her stool to get her soy milk from the refrigerator, she pulled a cardboard box from the guest room and sat her bowl on it. While trying to pour her milk into the bowl, the carton slipped from her hand and drenched our kitchen. She stood over the mess with big puppy-dog eyes, looked up at me and replied, “I was hungry and wanted to fix some cereal. I was trying to be a big girl.” I cleaned up her mess, prepared her bowl of cereal, seated her at the table and praised her for almost doing it all by herself. What do you do? You can’t be mad at that cuteness. I think we are going to put some things on lower shelves and have small cups of milk in the refrigerator for her to pour on her own. Little Miss Independent is too impatient to wait.

We attended a birthday party this morning at a fun miniature golf place. We had a great time watching the little ones try to hold the putters and get their golf balls into the holes. Our daughter did pretty well considering she thought she was playing pool. I know our radical gay family agenda surely rubbed off on some of the families there. There was one family in particular that started that pre-divorce twitch as they passed us a slice of birthday cake. I just know the entire fabric of their being was forsaken by our attendance. Our daughter even had braided pig-tails and sandals that matched her outfit today. The GAY was overtly present from the moment we walked up the fake volcano face and into the tiki hut party room.

After the party, we fought the Fourth of July beach traffic to do a little shopping for birthday gifts for my daughter. We are throwing her an impromptu birthday party/Fourth of July cookout tomorrow. We are celebrating early since we will be out of the country for her actual birthday. We are taking her on a trip to Italy, Greece and Turkey in a few days. How completely radical and gay! We want her to learn about different cultures and experience the world beyond our daily American gay agenda. I can’t wait to learn how the Venetians handle their radical gay agendas. I hope we learn new sinister ways to complete our goal of world domination. We do need to inform the gondoliers that horizontal stripes are never a good idea.

We stopped by The Fresh Market and have another fabulous prepared dinner for tonight. We are enjoying all the time we are saving by shopping there. Our dinner conversation tonight is sure to be very evil.

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/30/11

Breakfast was made, lunch was packed, my daughter was dressed and hauled off to school, the second load of laundry is in the washer, my dentist appointment was made, and now I am trying to do some work. The first part of my radical gay family agenda has been met this morning. The remainder of the day consists of meeting with my lawyer to discuss the best methods for protecting my family since our marriage is not recognized. We will also discuss methods for getting my first book copyrighted and trademarked while we enjoy a nice Southern lunch. I am hoping my lawyer will have some legal advice to prepare me for all the lawsuits I am sure to receive from the divorce decrees that I have caused. Our radical gay family agenda is sure to cause some legal drama comparable to the O.J. Simpson trial. I wonder if Robert Shapiro is still available.

Jeff is working hard and trying to stay cool in Texas and Gregory is keeping the ER department in order today. It is so quiet in the house right now. I think I will allow my daughter to stay in after-school care today so I can enjoy some extra silence. Before you start to think I am being selfish, just know it is to give me extra time to wash and fold more clothes and to clean up the house a bit. I may even take some time to give myself a much-needed manicure. I know there are no other parents out there that put off personal care to take care of their children. This is surely a radical sacrifice.

I am considering a stop by The Fresh Market again today to pick up something yummy for dinner. I can already see that their convenience will destroy my time in front of the stove. I look forward to the extra time I get to plot and plan. There will be so many more marriage failures because of my shopping convenience with The Fresh Market. Who knew how powerful their presence would end up being?

 

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/28/11

Let’s talk about cereal this morning. When did they start coming out with so many varieties? And, when did all the varieties include marshmallows? When I was younger the choices were Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, and Rice Krispies. If you wanted something sweeter, you could choose Frosted Flakes. Now we have Fruit Loops with marshmallows, Chocolate Rice Krispies with marshmallows, Chocolate Lucky Charms with marshmallows, Fruity Pebbles with marshmallows and a hundred other sweet options. It is crazy but I am so glad I have these to choose from. Fruit Loops with marshmallows is my favorite! My daughter still gets oatmeal but we let her have a handful of sweet, dry cereal in the morning after breakfast if she is still hungry. I swear all the rainbow colors are part of the Radical Gay Agenda to infiltrate the lives of children silently. Think about it, everything is “fruity”, “sweet”, and “full of sugar”! Your cereal is chock full of GAY!

The princess is off at school camp for the day. They are learning all about the rain forest this week. We get to go to the school at the end of the week and listen to all the sounds and songs they are learning. I can’t wait to see my little safari leader belt out some fun songs Friday. Does anyone know where I can find a small safari hat and hiking boots in size 11 before Friday? She HAS to look the part! Should I add her Dora backpack and a map?

On my radical gay family agenda today is several loads of laundry, framing a family photo, changing sheets, making beds, picking out clothes for my daughter to wear tomorrow, carpool, and cooking dinner. At some point during the day I have to do some work and call my mom to say hello. There are so many radical gay things going on at one time today I can hardly keep up.

Tonight we will discuss the downfall of America due to our radical bond. I wonder if all those people effected by us will ever forgive us for living OUR lives the way THEY do?

Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/19/11

Today is our special day. Father’s Day has so much more meaning when you are actually a father. Jeff and I spent the majority of our lives thinking we would never know the joys of parenthood. We are honored and grateful for the opportunity to be daddies. We send a very special THANK YOU to Stefanie, our surrogate and angel. Thank you for helping make our wish come true and thank you for creating a special reason to celebrate Father’s Day. I, again, refer to the poem we wrote that is proudly displayed on the wall in our daughter’s room:

Your daddies had a dream…

and along came you.

You are living proof…

our fairytale came true.

Our radical gay family agenda started with our daughter making us a pancake breakfast thanks to the thoughtful planning of our dear friend Lynda. She was so excited to add all the ingredients together and whisk away. We had to make a second batch when she chose to squeeze an egg into the mix. Do you know how difficult it is to extract tiny pieces of egg shell from pancake mixture? You pick your battles. We dumped the first batch. She is allergic to eggs, so she kind of freaked out about the “yucky egg juice” getting all over her hands. She is such an adorable mess!

Father's Day Breakfast Pancakes

After breakfast, our daughter put on a wonderful Father’s Day performance for us. We were invited upstairs to witness her “orchestra” performance. We arrived to a small table filled with maracas, a tambourine, and a guitar. She gave us each a “ticket”, dimmed the lights, were told not to enter the “backstage area”, and were asked to sit and wait for her to start. She was very meticulous playing one instrument at a time in her own little sequence. Once her song was complete she took a bow and awaited our applause. We quickly asked for an encore and were entertained with a few of her favorite songs.  She does a wonderful rendition of Grand Old Flag and Somewhere Over The Rainbow. You know she HAS to be good with the latter being that her dads are “friends of Dorothy”!

Our radical gay agenda today consists of family time and celebration. We plan to spend a little time by the pool and relaxing. We also hope to have an afternoon performance by our daughter. She promised to perform her favorite Lady GaGa song this afternoon if we were good. I have no idea what “being good” means for her but I am sure it includes dismantling someones marriage. Maybe our agenda will reach people Somewhere Over The Rainbow and our daughter’s angelic rendition of that song will unearth our “pot of gold”. That “pot of gold” being the destruction of the sanctity of marriage. I will pray for rain followed immediately by sunshine.