Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/2/11

This morning started off with a bang! No, there were no fireworks in our home. Our daughter awoke before we did and decided to prepare her own breakfast. I heard a loud bang and an “Uh oh”, so I jumped from bed and ran to the kitchen. I walked in to my daughter standing over a cardboard box with milk puddled up in the floor and dripping from the counter and cabinets. GOT MILK? She had taken her bathroom stool into the kitchen, climbed up on the counter and got a bowl from the cabinet. She then slid her stool to the pantry and pulled down a box of daddy’s Fruit Loops with Marshmallows and took it to the kitchen. After standing on her stool to get her soy milk from the refrigerator, she pulled a cardboard box from the guest room and sat her bowl on it. While trying to pour her milk into the bowl, the carton slipped from her hand and drenched our kitchen. She stood over the mess with big puppy-dog eyes, looked up at me and replied, “I was hungry and wanted to fix some cereal. I was trying to be a big girl.” I cleaned up her mess, prepared her bowl of cereal, seated her at the table and praised her for almost doing it all by herself. What do you do? You can’t be mad at that cuteness. I think we are going to put some things on lower shelves and have small cups of milk in the refrigerator for her to pour on her own. Little Miss Independent is too impatient to wait.

We attended a birthday party this morning at a fun miniature golf place. We had a great time watching the little ones try to hold the putters and get their golf balls into the holes. Our daughter did pretty well considering she thought she was playing pool. I know our radical gay family agenda surely rubbed off on some of the families there. There was one family in particular that started that pre-divorce twitch as they passed us a slice of birthday cake. I just know the entire fabric of their being was forsaken by our attendance. Our daughter even had braided pig-tails and sandals that matched her outfit today. The GAY was overtly present from the moment we walked up the fake volcano face and into the tiki hut party room.

After the party, we fought the Fourth of July beach traffic to do a little shopping for birthday gifts for my daughter. We are throwing her an impromptu birthday party/Fourth of July cookout tomorrow. We are celebrating early since we will be out of the country for her actual birthday. We are taking her on a trip to Italy, Greece and Turkey in a few days. How completely radical and gay! We want her to learn about different cultures and experience the world beyond our daily American gay agenda. I can’t wait to learn how the Venetians handle their radical gay agendas. I hope we learn new sinister ways to complete our goal of world domination. We do need to inform the gondoliers that horizontal stripes are never a good idea.

We stopped by The Fresh Market and have another fabulous prepared dinner for tonight. We are enjoying all the time we are saving by shopping there. Our dinner conversation tonight is sure to be very evil.

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3 responses to “Radical Gay Family Agenda 7/2/11

  1. Your daughter is adorable. I love how you handled her milk-misadventure. Great idea with setting her up with things she can reach to do it herself.

  2. Tommy – this story reminded me of when my son was about three he woke up on his own and helped himself to the fridge. I woke up and he was eating something and standing next to the dining room wall and there was something all over the wall. It was bologna he had taken an entire package of bologna and stuck each individual piece to the wall and they all stuck there and he was eating a slice and smiling so sweetly at me. Bad Mommy!
    After all these years my only regret is that I did not take a picture. -Sallie

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