Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/17/11

I finally made it home yesterday after a frustrating airport shuffle from Omaha to Chicago to Charlotte then Myrtle Beach. I missed my connection from Charlotte to Myrtle Beach by 4 minutes as we waited for an aircraft to leave our gate. I was not a happy camper after running to my gate and seeing the plane taxi away. For those of you who don’t know, I do not run unless being chased. I think I pulled a heart muscle in the race to make my flight. I guess there is no need to do a stress test anytime soon. I am still alive after all that! I had to spend the night in Charlotte and take the first flight out yesterday morning. I played catch-up all day yesterday and did not have time for a blog entry. I did get some sweet hugs and kisses from my daughter yesterday afternoon when I picked her up from school. She kept yelling “daddy, daddy, daddy…I missed you so much! I love you!” Who could ask for a better welcome home?

Our agenda for today is extremely radical and gay. We had to get our daughter dressed for summer school camp this morning in a special way. Today is water day at camp so she had to go to school in a bathing suit and water shoes with a change of clothing and towel. Normally, this would not be a problem but she chose to throw a fit over wanting to wear a bikini instead of a one piece. We only allow her to wear bikinis at home in our own pool. She was ultimately coaxed into wearing her rainbow striped one piece. She looked like a pint-sized gay pride float crawling into the back of the car. If you don’t have an opportunity to fly your rainbow flag, consider dressing your child in it! The local fire department is visiting the school to spray the kids down. I just know our radical gay agenda is sure to envelop them with a sense of marital calamity as soon as they see my rainbow-clad daughter frolicking in their presence.

Once she was off to school the household chores started. The dishwasher has been emptied and refilled. I am on my third load of laundry. The yard has been mowed (my least favorite chore). The sheets have been changed. I feel like a regular Molly Maid today. And to think, the house-keeper was just here Monday! How completely radical and gay is our life?

I am getting ready to head to the school to get in carpool. I will be taking my daughter with me grocery shopping today to look for some gay tainted corn on the cob and Angus beef. I hope the Piggly Wiggly has a fresh stock. I look forward to a healthy dinner with my family tonight and reveling in our gay success.

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