Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/15/11

I am sitting in the airport in Omaha, Nebraska. I have learned all I care to learn about beef manufacturing. I don’t think I can eat another steak for at least a week. I am anxious to get home to my family and continue my radical gay family agenda of carpool and packing lunches. I hope my flight schedule will be on time today and not like my schedule coming out here. Somebody just might get hurt if I have to spend another six hours doing the airport shuffle.

I spent the evening yesterday walking around the old market place in downtown Omaha. I did my best to direct my radical gay agenda on the patrons as they passed me by. I’m pretty sure my fairy dust landed on at least a few of those Huskers. I sat beside a heterosexual family at dinner at a cute little eclectic restaurant with sidewalk seating. I could not believe they used a high chair and bib for their child just like we used to do with our child. There has to be some kind of conspiracy that they were copying our gay ways. They even cut up the food for their child, just like we do. WOW! How could we be so similar? I’m sure they must have read about my agenda and were following me on Facebook or something. There is no way a “normal” family would have such radical actions. They EVEN acted like they loved their child. Interesting. I bet they went home and immediately drew up divorce papers because they sat so close to me.

As I impatiently sit in the land of corn and cattle, I consider ways to implode the Midwest with our radical gay agenda. Maybe as I fly over the vast, fertile land, I can transfer my thoughts to the Angus and Silver Queens. With so many Americans getting their groceries from this region, my agenda is sure to reach millions. I can feel a mass exodus of traditional marriages as summer bar-b-ques crank up. You might want to reconsider roasting those Silver Queen corn cobs and Angus ribeye steaks this summer. The food you consume just might be effected by our radical gay agenda. Oh, the despair…I can feel the fabric of America unravel and fray as I type.

I don’t think I will be home early enough tonight to get hugs and kisses from my daughter. I do plan to sneak into her room and watch her sleep for a moment. I will have to sneak a little kiss and smell her hair. All will be well with the world as soon as I see my angel. I live for her.


3 responses to “Radical Gay Family Agenda 6/15/11

  1. Jennifer Lockett

    I have to go to the airpot for a flight on Saturday. I hope that your radical gay agenda doesn’t spread to me. I’m also flying to Europe where ‘the gays’ reign supreme with their civil rights. Clearly, I will come home a divorcée in a new, lesbian marriage – probably one run by Sharia law and communist.
    Damn you and your radical gayness!

  2. Hi Jennifer. I’m Tommy’s husband. I followed your link and discovered your pod casts on iTunes. While working, I just listened to your lecture on the Mythical Origins of Rome. I got very little work done because your lecture was so interesting, humorous and enlightening. I wish I had wonderful Professors like you when I attended university. Just wanted to give you a shout out and say thanks for following Tommy’s blog. We’re honored to have someone of your caliber following our radical agenda. I’ll be listening to more of your excellent lectures. Thanks. Jeff

  3. Jennifer Lockett

    Thank you so much Jeff for your kind comments. i recently (well, about a year and a half ago) left college teaching and moved to Independent Schools (teaching high school history). It’s been a great move and one in which I feel like I can make a real difference in my students’ lives. We have recently decided to implement the Olweus program at my school to combat verbal bullying (especially in light of the recent spate of teen suicides). I’m proud to be involved in that movement.

    My podcasts are rather rough, literally just the recordings of my lectures but I’m so glad that you are enjoying them (and can hear my enthusiasm). I’ve been considering making new ones, more polished, but not sure when/if I can find the time.

    I’ve been loving your family’s blog which I think puts forth an important message in this political climate – that “gay” families can be just as mundane and boring as “straight” families. Of course, perhaps that is the subtleness of your agenda 😉 I look forward to reading more about your family’s experiences. I just hope that my heterosexual marriage can survive the direct attack of your radical agenda.

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